Prayer ~ Jan Landsbaum

One of the best answers to prayer I ever received was “no.” Not a gentle, “no, my child, I have better things in mind for you,” but an emphatic “NO! NO WAY! NOT EVER! QUIT ASKING!” Apparently, God had been answering my long-term prayer and I hadn’t paid attention to gentler versions of that answer. I wanted my answer, not His. I wanted my will, not His.

My entire working career was at daily newspapers in Arizona and California. For a long period I continually sought to work for bigger newspapers and more important beats. I always accompanied these efforts with prayer – after all, God tells us to “Ask and you will receive, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened” Matthew 7:7.  In hindsight, although I prayed for God’s will in my life, I really sought my own glory.

For 10 years, I periodically applied for various jobs at the Los Angeles Times, the largest and most prominent newspaper in the western United States. Finally, in the spring of 1988, I prepared another application packet and told God that I would accept the response as His final word on the subject, expecting that it would be “yes.” The rejection letter came back so fast that I’m convinced the editor had pre-typed it and stamped the envelope before receiving my packet.

"OK, Lord, I get it,” I prayed without enthusiasm, peace or joy. “I won’t apply to the Times again. But what do I do now?” God had every right to wait years, decades or a lifetime to answer that prayer, which though joyless, was completely sincere and offered with a contrite heart.

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise. – Psalm 51:17

Within weeks, my editor at the newspaper where I worked offered me the job of writing a column about the problems small businesses face and solutions to those problems. It was in addition to my current work with no additional pay. The column wasn’t high prestige; after all, covering small businesses isn’t as important in the journalistic world as covering the large, public companies. But the timing told me this was God’s answer to my prayer. I accepted and over the following 25 years, that work shaped my professional career. My prayer journals over that time reflects a move toward what God wanted me to write about, how He could use my work to help others and glorify Himself.

I certainly encountered other struggles and problems in this work but I always saw it as God’s assignment. I came to understand that the lessons, which apply to one’s life calling of the Lord, include:

1.     Pray fervently and continuously about anything that you care about.

Praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication – Ephesians 6:18

2.     Listen more than you pray for God’s answer.

My son, if you receive my words and treasure up my commandments with you, making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining your heart to understanding; yes, if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding, if you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God. – Proverbs 2: 1-5

3.     Continually examine your motives in prayer.

 You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions. – James 4:3

4.     Accept when the answer is one you don’t expect or don’t want.

Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. – James 4:7

and

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11

God is infinitely wiser than I. As C.S. Lewis said, "If God had granted all the silly prayers I've made in my life, where should I be now?" And Terry Glaspey wrote, "Sometimes we realize only in hindsight that the answer we had hoped for would not have been the best thing for us. God, in His wisdom and love, often withholds our requests on the grounds that they would be harmful to our ultimate good."