Thursday, October 31, 2013

CCEF Conference Testimony~ Ashli Kottwitz

“Not Alone” was the theme of the CCEF Conference in Frisco this year.  I was awestruck by the simplicity and yet extreme depth of this statement in relationship to us as that we are never alone as Christians.  When I felt most alone in my life: when I signed the papers for my husband to be taken off life-support or when I left my suffering husband at one hospital to pick up my sick daughter and take her to another hospital for admission for dehydration.  But I was never really alone.  Both instances, I cried out to the Lord and wondered why I was alone and if had he forsaken me.  However, as I look back, God sent another friend to be with my husband, and my father-in-law showed up at the hospital to check on Lana and me.  That was Him being there; I am never truly alone.  I need only to take a deep breath, remember and feel that He is with me.  This is the true definition of faith, is it not?

It can be easy to believe in the Lord and His strength and power on a good day.  Except, what about the horrible days, the loneliest days, the days when despair peeks around the corner?  Those days test your faith the most; can you remember that the Lord is good and He is always near you even on those days?

One of the speakers at the conference spoke about the fact that Christ is always with us.  And He knows what it is like to be truly alone.  He lay on the Cross feeling more alone than we could ever be.  At that point when He became sin for us, he knew true loneliness.  If we believe this fundamental of Christianity, then the speaker went on to say that we always have HOPE as our defense in these tough days.  As the speaker went on he said, we forget about the Lord on the great days when all is going our way.  Then we humans tend to bring Him out of our pocket when the bad times hit.  The speaker then said that Christ never forgets about us, but we forget about Him.  We are always on His mind.

Finally, there is no pain that we have felt that Christ, when he took on human form, has not felt before.  He is not a God sitting in the Heavens apart from us; He has been where we have been.  He is feeling your pain; He is true compassion.  Also, the speaker pointed out that true compassion is where someone takes on a bit of your pain.  They carry it with them.  Christ can take our pain; He brings true empathy.  He is there with you in every moment of your life.  You are never alone. 

What a comfort this speaker brought to me! - Ashli Kottwitz

Matthew 11:28-30
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, 
and I will give you rest. 
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, 
for I am gentle and humble in heart, 
and you will find rest for your souls. 
For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

CCEF conference ~Anne Chamberlin

God with Us

The Christian Counseling and Education Foundation’s (CCEF) conference two weekends ago centered on the theme, “Not Alone.” The mission of CCEF is to “restore Christ to counseling and restore counseling to the church.”

In this age (as in every other), people find themselves feeling isolated, lonely, and adrift from God and their community. This is true for married and single people, men and women, children and adults.  But God is a personal and intimate companion; he came right alongside us in his incarnation. The force and focus of the weekend was for us to reach out and model Christ’s companionship to others (family, friends, co-workers, clients).

David and I attended all but one of the main sessions and many of the plenary sessions, so I thought it might be best to just share a paraphrase of each session I attended. After the conference, I felt spiritually and emotionally refreshed from hearing experienced biblical counselors teach and exhort us about relationship – God’s relationship with me and my relationship with others. (I was also physically refreshed by the Cajun food truck, but that is another blog.)

For me, the conference called to my mind Isaiah’s description of the coming Messiah as “Immanuel: God with us.” Indeed much of the conference centered on the person and work of the incarnate Jesus Christ. From him we understand ourselves and others, so that we can counsel and minister personally and effectively.

We enter into others lives as Christ did in the following ways:

We are builders (David Powlison): “Every relationship is intentional.” Every interaction we have with other image-bearers -- whether that interaction is small or great, light or deep, glancing or permanent -- is either building bridges or building walls. How we speak to people, even in casual and light conversations (which are not bad), either sends the message that we wish to build a bridge to someone or that we wish to wall them off.

We are Christ-modelers (Elyse Fitzpatrick): Christ entered into humanity, laboring and living in an obscure “hick town” before his public ministry, pleasing his Father in all of his daily activities, from the most mundane daily labor to his glorious resurrection. He did not despise his body, but he joined in the human experience, yet without sin. We are called to be like him: to enter into the lives of others, to listen, and show them Christ. Do not scorn the mundane, but embrace it by serving God even in the everyday, as Christ did.

We are dialoguers (Julie Lowe): As parents, do you value compliance more than engagement with your children? Are you daily seeking to be in dialogue and conversation with them? Do you speak of and reflect on the delights of living as much as the disciplines of living? Finally -- Do you require of yourself what you require of them?

We are listeners (Ed Welch): Do you seek to ask meaningful and probing questions in order to enter into the lives of others, both their triumphs and joys and their failures and sufferings? Our demeanor and perspective, in the joys and the trials, should be, “Tell me more. Give me the details. How can I pray for you?” (Be careful about answering someone’s shared concern by telling your own story immediately. This shuts people down. Instead, listen and probe.)

We are reconcilers (Cecilia Bernhardt): God uses conflict to foster character in his saints, and he intends for conflict to draw us closer to him and to each other. We tend to begin conflicts with an eye towards self-service, but, if we see Jesus, we can change that to having an eye towards God’s reality in the situation. If we are interested in God’s truth, we can face conflict with humility rather than self-service.

We are affirmers (Aaron Sironi): The model and command of Scripture is not to flatter, but “to be alert for what God considers good.” (Eg: Jesus with Nathaniel and the centurion, Proverbs 31, Romans 8.) If we only see and verbalize what is wrong in people and situations, we need to repent. God himself commends a motley group of saints in Hebrews 11 (Gideon, Samson, etc). It is not enough to think and notice good things; we must verbalize those things.

In closing, this conference was replete with wise counsel, challenging our perspectives and exhorting us to truly engage with people in their need.

The basis and foundation of all of the teaching was Jesus Christ’s finished work and his example of how to enter in and truly love others intimately and personally. How do we know that we are not alone? By looking at him and his incarnation. How do we know how to love others and come alongside them? By learning from him, who entered into humanity and who intercedes for us.

Colossians 1:3-8 “We always thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, when we pray for you, since we heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and of the love that you have for all the saints, because of the hope laid up for you in heaven.”

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Building Retreat Testimony~ Linda Clark

You know how you attend a wonderful retreat, get all fired up with resolutions and then slowly get sidetracked with life back “in the real world”? Well, recently I attended a senior ladies Bible study discussion group at another church, and this get together reminded me of the Presbytery Women’s Retreat with its emphasis on building relationships and my desire to have someone special to mentor. The Bible study showed me the blessings of meeting with older women and hearing their stories and their wisdom about different scriptures. It also reminded me of the importance and need for women to be mentoring women. So now I’ve gone back to my notes from the Presbytery retreat to get myself back on track and praying for that special woman &/or women God has for me to mentor and to mentor me and also to share with anyone who may read this what was so special about our North Texas Presbytery Ministry to Women Retreat 2013.

Notes from NTPMWR13:
~Mentoring relationships encourage & build one another up.
~Mentoring relationships can be formal or informal & long or short.
~Mentoring relationships can change over time & require relational wisdom along with clear
communication.
~Mentoring relationships are for ALL women.
~Mentoring relationships should be Christ centered and gospel focused.

Basically in a nut shell, women need to talk to other women. But more than that, our words need to be Christ centered, gospel focused, encouraging and building up each other. Whew! It seems like a very important assignment our Father has given us. Yet talking comes natural to most of us, so we, with Holy Spirit’s help, must pray, pray, pray that our words are within these parameters, then we will be mentoring others informally all the time.

One of the scriptures from the retreat was Titus 2:3-5, which challenged me with some very specific instructions for older women (EVERYONE is an older woman to someone):
*be reverent in behavior
*don’t slander (gossip is so easy to fall into….WATCH OUT!)
*don’t drink too much wine
*teach what’s good & train the young women to love their husbands & children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, & submissive to their husbands.
*do all this in order not to revile the Word

As older women, it’s our responsibility to be an example to the younger women in our sphere of influence: We are role models good or bad, whether we want to be or not. Sort of like those movie stars & athletes, who say they’re not role models, but they are. Someone is watching our every word & action, especially if we give ourselves the name Christian. So no matter our age, young or old, or our maturity in the faith, our lives must not revile the Word. Dear Father, forgive us again for reviling the Word and give us Your grace to be reverent in behavior, self-controlled, pure, kind encouragers for You.

Another scripture from the retreat was 1 Thessalonians 5:11 “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.”

The retreat was excellent for making me think about the importance of being a Mentor & how we ALL need to be mentored, old and young. Heavenly Father, send Holy Spirit to touch our hearts and make our words, words of encouragement, which build up each other.

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Fall Retreat Recap~ Melodie Bajame

Fall Retreat 2013
“Blessed are Those Who Build!”
Frisco, TX
 “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as your are doing.”
I Thessalonians 5:11
 
 
We talk a lot about building ministries but how do we actually do that? In September, the women in the North Texas Presbytery gathered for their annual retreat eagerly looking forward to receiving some building advice! Advice about building teams, relationships, and ministries.

Friday night opened with a chance to reunite with friends and meet new ones along with enjoying a time of praise and worship. I presented the opening invitation with a foundational discussion about building teams - why, who, when, and how. We spent time learning about the ministries the Lord has blessed us with and how to build them in a Godly and constructive manner. The discussion included an interactive time where we built our center pieces with Legos to drive home the message that everyone has been blessed with different gifts and we need them all to have a well-rounded team. Each woman received a Spiritual Gifts survey to complete for the next day.

This year was the first year WMNTP hosted “Girl’s Night!” This year’s was coordinated by Rachele Bajema. Our younger women enjoyed a late night trip to The Cheesecake Factory while the rest of us relaxed at the lovely Hilton Garden Inn.

We opened Saturday morning with discussions about our Spiritual Gifts over breakfast. It was great to see where everyone’s gifts were! Saturday’s topics continued with the building theme and the use of the gifts we have. Nicole Tsui taught on building relationships. Relationships can be formal or information, long or short, long distance, change over time, require relational wisdom and clear communication. Looking at our gifts and where we can be of encouragement and equip a younger woman is our Biblical calling. Cheryl Kendrick shared her wisdom on building mercy ministries. How do we relate with those in need, how do we help in the short term or long term, and much more. We learned to look for issues and actions the people themselves are willing to work on not just what we think is best. The best ministries assist people to be independent and support themselves and their families with their work.

The day closed with a discussion about media in our ministries - both print and social. Panel members included Nicole, Liz Withers from Design Products, and myself. We learned about the options available for our ministries to get the word out from church bulletins to posters, from Facebook to blogs, etc. It is important that we use a variety of mediums as we are reaching out to many different types of women. Through a Q & A session, other women shared what has worked for them. We were encouraged to look closely at the demographic of our ministries to be most effective.

The retreat closed with a variety of resources being presented for the women to use in their own ministries. Each seminar and discussion used several resources. I have listed below the resources we used that weekend for you to use in your ministries. The women were encouraged to use these resources to build their ministries. The Lord blessed us with a wonderful time of learning together. We pray that the women were able to return to their homes "encouraged and built up!"

Sincerely,
Melodie Bajema

Online Resources
PCA Website: http://www.pcanet.org/
General PCA information.
PCA Women's Ministry: http://www.pcacep.org/women/
Our resource for ministry basics, events, recommended studies, etc.
Meet the leaders of the PCA's Women's Ministry!
PCA Bookstore: http://www.cepbookstore.com/c-207-women.aspx
 Great resource for Bible studies, training information, and much, much, more!
WIC Love Gift: http://vimeo.com/56694305
 You are welcome to share this video with your church!
Barna Group: https://www.barna.org/
Resource for faith and cultural statistics
Lifeway Christian Resources: http://www.lifeway.com/Article/Women-Leadership-Spiritual-gifts-
growth-service
This is where the Spiritual Gifts Survey is listed.
Please note this is NOT a PCA website but a useful tool! :)
(click on "Events" for Leadership Training" details)
Books: (all available at the PCA Bookstore)
"Becoming a Woman of Influence" by Carol Kent
"The Legacy of Biblical Womanhood" by Susan Hunt and Barbara Thompson
“Spiritual Mothering: The Titus 2 Mold for Women Mentoring Women” by Susan Hunt
“The True Woman” by Susan Hunt
“When Helping Hurts” by Steve Corbet and Brian Fikkert
“A Woman’s Guide to Discipling” by Dana Yeakley
"Women's Ministry in the Local Church" by Susan Hunt and Ligon Duncan
"Women's Ministry Training and Resource Guide" by Susan Hunt

Prayer and Growth ~ Laura Henderson

We have been enjoying our study on Fridays about being Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands.  Laura Henderson wrote some of her thoughts after a recent week:

How does one pray and grow?  I think it must begin with understanding God loves you.  We
can come to him with every detail of our life.  “…casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7)  It doesn’t just say, “only the big anxieties”, but “all”. Why is this important? When you love someone, you want to share everything with that person. Your struggles, your thoughts, your joys… He cares about every detail in your life.  “But even the hairs of your head are all numbered.”  (Matthew 10:30)  Understanding God cares about the little things in our lives frees us to walk with him in our prayer life more intimately.  “You do not have, because you do not ask.” (James 4:2)  He didn’t have to make us pray.  God is always giving to us despite our lack of prayers, but He says, we are to ask of Him.  And in regards to some things in life, we will not receive them if we don’t ask of Him.  Why?  He knows everything, why do we have to talk to Him about it?  I am sure there are many reasons God designed prayer, but one common sense reason we see is that is how you have a relationship.  You must talk with someone to know them and love them. He wants us to come to Him. “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28) “If anyone thirsts, let him come to me and drink… ‘out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.’” "John 7:37, 38"

Ask yourself: if you went to a counselor to talk about your difficulties, would you speak more honestly and delve more deeply with him then you would in prayer with the Lord? He desires us to be alone with Him and to pour our heart out to Him. And when you do, you will see that you have not come to a hard, unfeeling rock that hasn’t heard your prayers, but to a mighty God who came in the soft wind to Elijah, and He will never fail you. 

So I will end where I began: God’s love for us.  I love how David describes his soul with the Lord. “But I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child is my soul within me." (Psalm 131:2)  I have a one-year-old daughter and when I rock her to bed, she melts in my arms.  She will look up at me with a big smile on her face then close her eyes, cuddle closer, and fall asleep.  I’m in absolute heaven.  I love it.  And it makes me think of the Lord’s love for us.  He loves me so much more than I could love my daughter.  So throughout my day, I am resting in Him for little and big things, such as: Lord please give me joy, I need your strength to handle today because I’m tired, change me to be humble, help Charlotte sleep through the night….

Prayer draws us to God, shows us our dependence, and gives peace that can’t be found anywhere else.