This week we were overjoyed to celebrate the upcoming arrival of Ty and Kim's TWIN boys with a "Babies" Shower. Twins? How exciting!!!! We are all greatly rejoicing over the lives of these little blessings and can't wait for them to join us "out here" where they will be met with plenty of snuggles and hugs all around.
The Lord wisely used Anne Chamberlain to bless us with words from Proverbs 14. What an encouragement! Gods word speaks peace into our lives and we delight to hear it. Thank you, Anne!
Building a Home, Building the Kingdom
Thank you for asking me to share a reflection on motherhood. I wrote down a few thoughts so I wouldn’t ramble on too long! You need to know, as a mother of teenagers still at home, I am speaking this little motherhood reflection to you out of my own need and weakness, not my strength, and as a reminder to myself.
Let us pray:
Jesus, guide my words here today that they would be an encouragement and a vision for Kim and the other mothers and grandmothers in this room. Lord let us love and serve and intercede for each other as you have done for us. Lord teach us to be like you, laying aside glory to serve our families, leaning on you for strength, and finding joy in building your kingdom.
Well, the Bible says a wise woman builds her house (Proverbs 14). So let’s consider a few things effective builders do.
First, Builders know their LIMITS:
Builders set limits, basing their building plan on the budget and resources and time they have. As mothers we need to know our own personal limits and understand that we are not God, or a “Junior Messiah” -- as a grey-haired pastor once leaned over, knitted his brows, and told me when I was a young woman.
We are not equipped to be all things to all people, even our husbands and children. That is what the Holy Spirit is equipped to do! He ministers to our families and friends in quiet, private ways we cannot know or see. It lifts a burden when I remember the ministry of the Holy Spirit’s ministry is much, much bigger and infinitely better than my own.
We are installed by the Lord to daily serve a few people lovingly. To do this, some seasons of life we can reach more people, some seasons we circle the wagons and focus on a few.
I’m task-oriented, and so I always have to re-learn this lesson. I would call it “Three Things” when my kids were little. David used to call up to check on me when we had 3 kids who were 3 and under. (In a four year span our little family welcomed 3 kids, 5 surgeries, 2 cross country moves, with no family nearby, and in one of the most stressful times in my husband’s job): “How was your day?” he’d ask. Sometimes I would say: “Three things: 1. Everyone ate, 2. we went on a walk, 3. no one died. Success!” Saying this out loud helped me tighten-up my sometimes out-of-control expectations, and lightened the load.
Second, after knowing limits, builders PRIORITIZE:
Builders handle important matters first. This requires first knowing what is important – foundation and frame before doorknobs and decks – and then operating from that principle.
After your walk with the Lord, my mom always says, the best way to love your children is to love their father. We should minister to husbands, and we should also ask them to help set priorities. Husbands need to know family context and family needs in order to shepherd and pray in a targeted way.
Each husband is different. David likes for me to e-mail him for advice or concerns, sometimes, as he then has time to chew on what he thinks and answer thoughtfully. Often a husband’s bird’s-eye perspective on the family is very clarifying, and can ease your burdens and lighten your load.
Third, after knowing limits and priorities, builders DON’T COMPARE:
The modern woodland retreat does not try to look like the Manhattan skyscraper or the historic colonial reproduction. Similarly, we mothers all have our specialties – that’s how we bless each other and how we are each building the kingdom here.
A former pastor of mine, a Welshman, once told me in his melodious brogue, “Comparisons are odious!” But women are good at comparing. We should stop comparing ourselves to another builder -- Arts-and-Crafts Mom or Schedule Mom or Nutrition Mom or Fitness Mom. Learn ideas and get inspiration from them, but don’t try to be them.
You are the right builder for your house. The Lord has ordained you and me as the particular builder for our families. He loves His own, including your children, who are His, and in His foreknowledge He chose you to be the mother of these particular children. You are the right mother (or grandmother) for them. Don’t question His decree, but ask and trust Him to meet you and use you there in the center of His will.
Do go to other builders for help: Ask sensible family and friends for advice or help. Sometimes that counsel or help will be much more targeted and concise than a book or institution can be. In fact, the church is in the building business, too! Ask the ladies in your church to pray or help or just listen if things get to be too much.
Finally – the ARCHITECT:
As we build our homes and families, we build His kingdom. We have an Architect, Who is also the Cornerstone.
“Do not despise the day of small beginnings” is a command the Lord gave Zechariah and the Jewish remnant in Judah after they returned from exile. I think that is a command for us, too, as we build His kingdom as mothers and grandmothers. For that is really what we are doing as mothers: building the kingdom of God. The good news is that foundation already has been laid and the Master Builder intercedes. We are contributing to something bigger than just our own house.
How can we do this in a lasting way? (I Corinthians 3) What – or Who – is the model for us?
In Philippians, the Lord has modeled us the way His kingdom is built, and it is certainly not a method the world would devise. He laid aside glory to serve at the lowest points of creation.
Philippians 2: 5-10: He emptied himself, He humbled himself, He served.
At Christmas we celebrate that Jesus himself came to earth as a man, to right where we live, and ministered personally to people who were sick, hurting, sad, bleeding, needy. (And don’t those needs sound like a toddler or teen on some days?)
Therefore, do not question if what you are doing daily as a mother or grandmother is important. Set your mind to value these things above – the things that Christ, not the world values. Set your mind to think of your deeply fundamental ministry of bathing, clothing, feeding, comforting, bringing order -- as important, not lesser chores. If Jesus is our example, then these seemingly mundane, personal acts of service are actually great and glorious acts for the kingdom.
Of course the world does not say this. But we know, when we walk alongside another human being in love, ministering to basic needs -- we are being like Him, the Architect and Master Builder. Jesus Christ knows what it is to serve. And we know we can call upon him and he will answer us and help us. At our lowest point, in our deepest lack and need, he is available. The kingdom is not dependent on a foundation we build, but on the sure foundation of Jesus Christ.
Our Jesus is ready and able to meet you at your point of need as you build your house and His kingdom.
Prayer:
Thank You for the blessed and high calling of service you give to mothers. Where else would we go but to You for help in this? Help us take hold of You, the tried and precious Cornerstone, our Sure Foundation, in prayer, in meditation on your Word, in worship, and by reaching out to others for fellowship and help.
